Last night Patrick and I sat down for some dinner in a real restaurant (wow!) and in between responding to requests from Evie, putting more food on her plate, conversing with her in 1 syllable words and doing the ocassional animated expression, we discussed things. We discussed the practice, we decided that we work with some of the most incredible people in the world (complete with tiny tears of gratitude) and we discussed our finances.
As many of you know, I would like to stop working. But this means finding the money to pay someone else to do my job. And it also means that we either continue to pay me, or we combine our bank accounts (which we have never done).
And then I wished more people spoke about finances. What do other people do? Do they combine their money when one of the parents stops working to be with their children? Do they each have an allowance for ‘spend as you please’? Do they keep their money separate and the person with the income just pays an income to the ‘at home’ parent?
I know that once upon a time, there was an unwritten rule that you get married & bring your lives together (money, assets, living arrangements). Then you have children if you so choose. But times are a-changing.
A little girl (age 7/8) asked me the other day if Patrick was my husband. I explained that we were boyfriend/girlfriend but not married. She assured me that it is ok to not get married before having children (in case I was worried) because her grandparents weren’t married.
2 days later Gracie (unofficial step daughter, age 4) told me that you aren’t allowed to have children unless you were married. I asked her how Evie got here then and she wasn’t too sure because she was adamant that you physically couldn’t have children before being married! So times have changed for some… But to others we have apparently done it all backwards! And now I’m curious as to how others do the things that are generally not spoken about. I swear the inner workings of a family’s finances are a more taboo topic than their sex lives!
So as the title of this post says… I’m just being totally nosy! But I would desperately love to know what other parents do and how it works for them. Who can help me out?!