Last night Patrick and I sat down for some dinner in a real restaurant (wow!) and in between responding to requests from Evie, putting more food on her plate, conversing with her in 1 syllable words and doing the ocassional animated expression, we discussed things. We discussed the practice, we decided that we work with some of the most incredible people in the world (complete with tiny tears of gratitude) and we discussed our finances.
As many of you know, I would like to stop working. But this means finding the money to pay someone else to do my job. And it also means that we either continue to pay me, or we combine our bank accounts (which we have never done).
And then I wished more people spoke about finances. What do other people do? Do they combine their money when one of the parents stops working to be with their children? Do they each have an allowance for ‘spend as you please’? Do they keep their money separate and the person with the income just pays an income to the ‘at home’ parent?
I know that once upon a time, there was an unwritten rule that you get married & bring your lives together (money, assets, living arrangements). Then you have children if you so choose. But times are a-changing.
A little girl (age 7/8) asked me the other day if Patrick was my husband. I explained that we were boyfriend/girlfriend but not married. She assured me that it is ok to not get married before having children (in case I was worried) because her grandparents weren’t married.
2 days later Gracie (unofficial step daughter, age 4) told me that you aren’t allowed to have children unless you were married. I asked her how Evie got here then and she wasn’t too sure because she was adamant that you physically couldn’t have children before being married! So times have changed for some… But to others we have apparently done it all backwards! And now I’m curious as to how others do the things that are generally not spoken about. I swear the inner workings of a family’s finances are a more taboo topic than their sex lives!
So as the title of this post says… I’m just being totally nosy! But I would desperately love to know what other parents do and how it works for them. Who can help me out?!
You’re right “on the money” because Sorting Out Finances is what me and my (married) girlfriends have all been discussing lately. Personally I kept my surname and bank account when we married, and can’t see that ever changing. We have a ‘fair’s fair’ balance system about who pays for what. Also: our lives are currently being revolutionised by the likes of Dave Ramsey and Harv Eker’s “jar system” – where every paycheck you earn gets split roughly as follows:
6 separated bank accounts:
Financial Freedom Account (FFA) = 10%
Long Term Savings For Spending (LTSS) = 10%
Education (EDUC) = 10%
Necessities (NEC) =55%
Play = 10%
Give = 5%
This results in long-term wealth creation. If I’d been following this system since I first started working 15 years ago, I would now have over $260,000. WHICH I TOATS DON’T!!!!!
Quick overview:
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2009/07/08/learning-to-budget-with-the-jars-system/
Rebecca Dettman recently posted..Stylish, delicious, Zen
Oh you are my angel! We have been doing a ‘richest man in Babylon’ type plan for a while… But it’s not working for us. You & I will be having further discussions on this
PS. Just read through that site. Perfect idea for me! Will be implementing!
Although things get confusing with separating PS’s personal & business money… And that’s the majority of our money. Need to examine further
Hey Alexandra! I heard about your blog from Karla so thought I’d check it out since I LOVE blogs!
When we got married, we put all of our money into one account. When I stopped working, we still lived off of this one account. There isn’t ever much talk about it. What’s his is mine and what’s mine is his (most of the time) I do the budget so I know where everything is, but there is no paying me for staying home. I budget spending money, bills, etc. We just live off of the one income. Even if we weren’t married, I think we’d do the same thing. It’s tough hey, but you gotta do what works best for you!
Hey! I had no idea that you had a blog too… have just had a read through. Had I known, I would totally have linked you up on my cloth nappy post! In fact I still can
AND saw your photo blog. Your photos are amazing!!
Thanks for your comment. I’m realising that I think we need to head that way… joint accounts. You’re right, it’s hard budgeting for someone else (Patrick is the best at impulse clothes purchases!) but when I pay for most of the children and house stuff, I either need to get more money from him (and I hate asking) or we need to combine money. It seems like the practical option xxx