Is this a little too in your face?
Do you find boobs confronting? The sight of them? Seeing them in a child’s mouth?
Many people will. And do you know what is strangest of all? More women would find it confronting than men.
I read a study recently done on the reactions of hundreds of men and women when a baby was being breastfed. I can’t recall the exact figures but it was something like 60 percent of the women felt uncomfortable, didn’t know where to look and didn’t know if they should have a conversation with the breastfeeding woman, in comparison to around 40 percent of the men.
Well do you know what I find confronting?
Hearing about a woman who stopped breastfeeding because they had no support. That’s confronting.
Or watching a woman attempting to feed their newborn under a jacket, blanket or towel and struggling to get a good attachment because they don’t have a spare hand and are more focused on trying to cover up. I’ve been that woman before. That’s confronting.
Or having a baby or child cough and splutter all over you because their immune system hasn’t had the best possible start to life. That’s confronting.
Or watching a baby scream and scream whilst their mother looks around for somewhere to heat their bottle before they can feed them. That’s confronting.
Or seeing a baby’s cognitive development hugely decreased because their body hasn’t been given the right fats and nutrients for their brain development. That’s confronting.
Or seeing a woman stressed out, sleep deprived and sick because their body doesn’t get the benefits of the hormone changes associated with breastfeeding. That’s confronting.
Or being a woman who chose not to breastfeed because it is one of the hardest things in the world to do, and it was painful, and their baby was unsettled, and they were stressed out, and they didn’t get much support, and then later on they wished they had. That’s confronting.
Or the fact that in Australia, 90 percent of babies are exclusively breastfed at birth but by 6 months only around 20 percent are. And that this is because of the change in societies view of breastfeeding. That’s confronting.
So is it really that confronting to see a woman giving their baby the best food possible for a healthy start to life? I suggest you go as far as loving the next woman you see nursing in public. Give her a warm smile. Tell her she’s beautiful. Or tell her she’s doing a great job. Because it’s a tough gig and sometimes it is easier to give it all up. I was nearly that woman. That scares me.
This is the best post you have ever written. Power to all you women!
So true. I have been almost every confronting situation you mentioned and I gave up. It’s really ridiculous that ANYONE has an issue with breastfeeding. I get angry when I see women being judged for it.
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Oh it’s hard isn’t it?!? Love your comment xx
This post rings so true. I had a waitress look at me weirdly for breastfeeding in a restaurant. I actually go and breastfeed in the toilets sometimes more due to the fact that both my baby and I will be comfortable. Having said that, breastfeeding facilities in Australia are so much more advanced than those in other countries. While travelling to Bangkok, I found it so difficult to find a comfortable place to breastfeed. Before I had a child, I didn’t find breastfeeding confronting although I had issue with modesty – some women actually let their breasts hang out in full view despite the child having fed.I’m not surprised that it would make people uncomfortable.
Rashida Tayabali recently posted..What have you been doing all day?
Yes I hear that!! Respect is needed from both parts isn’t it? It is much easier to understand nursing in public when you’ve gone through it yourself though I think!
Hi! I’ve just stumbled upon your blog and I know this is an old post but I just wanted to thank you for writing it. I breastfed my little girl until she was 12 moths old. In the beginning breast feeding was sooo hard (as I’m sure many women know!) but everyone kept saying how great I was for giving her such a good start. So I was a little annoyed when we were on a holiday – with extended family – and she was 10 months old and people were saying things like “you still have her on the boob?! Give it up already”. Perfect example of how society’s view changes once the baby gets a little older hey! It’s all about breast feeding when the baby’s a newborn but if they’re crawling/walking then apparently they’re too old to be breastfed?!
Oh thank you!! Yes, I know what you mean… The saying ‘if they can ask for it they are too old’ really gets to me!! Given that my baby was asking by sign language at 6 months and then asking with words at 14 months… And especially when the WHO recommendation is to bfeed until age 2! I say that a child is never too old as long as the mum can still supply and the child still requires. Especially given than many women struggle past 6 months! Why does there need to be a time limit?!
I’m sorry that you were criticised for feeding your bubs… at least your baby has the advantage there!