Yes it is currently a taboo topic. Sharing breast milk. Many of my friends turn their noses up at the merest mention of it. And they are definitely not alone! The way I see it, the fact that someone would produce milk for another child is a beautiful act. But far too rare. I mean seriously people, you are happy to share the milk from a cow… And most often you don’t even personally know the cow!! What’s more disturbing?!
Image source found here
I highly doubt I need to highlight the many benefits of breastfeeding, but just in case, here are a few (in no particular order):
- Mother-baby bonding
- Post birth recovery
- Weight-loss post birth
- Nutritional value for baby
- Immunity for baby
And the list goes on.
If for some reason I couldn’t breastfeed my baby, I would be finding someone to either play the role of wet nurse or to donate some milk. I have to admit though, I do have a few questions & concerns that perhaps you could help me (and many other women) with.
My first concern would be that of health. I feel I would need to interview (interrogate) the lovely person who was supplying my baby with milk! What are they eating/drinking/breathing?! Perhaps breast milk is (unfortunately) in short supply so beggars can’t be choosers? Having said that, I am sure that a) the occasional junk-food-filled breastmilk is better than nothing and/or formula, and b) if someone cares enough about the health of your child to supply their breastmilk, you can trust that they want the best for him/her!
Secondly, I have got to admit that I would feel rather jealous of the wet nurse. I love love love snuggling my daughter in for a feed. It is the most beautiful thing to feel/see/do. Did I mention I love it? I think I would have to work very hard at seeing the bigger picture of “it’s not about me, it’s about my baby”. I would also be jealous about the bond that would be built between baby & boob. I would love that my baby had the opportunity to experience that bond, but would struggle a little with it I think. Does anyone have experience with this?
Thirdly, how does it work?! I can understand expressing and supplying milk. But how does a wet nurse work if they are actually nursing your child? Would you have them live-in? Can you still provide on-demand feeding if they don’t live with you? Please excuse my naivety!
There isn’t enough information out there for parents who are looking for breast milk for their baby or toddler. I look forward to seeing this change.
Baby's first feed
Some FYI’s…
- There is a great network called ‘HM4HB – human milk for human babies‘ where you can find someone in your area to donate milk to your baby or for you do donate milk to someone else. It is worldwide so just visit their website, google ‘HM4HB [insert location here] or do a search on Facebook.
- As I was writing this post I started looking for other information on milk sharing and I found this wonderful blog: Journey of a Wet Nurse. You can also ‘like’ her page on Facebook & follow her journey. I have so much respect for this woman. Whilst I support milk sharing, I’m not actually getting out there and doing it like she is! Go girl!
- My (unofficial) step-daughter is adopted and was fed formula as a baby (not sure if her mum & dad looked into options for milk sharing) but as she became a little older and was still drinking milk (ages 1-3) they fed her goats milk rather than cows milk. The reason being that goats milk is closer in composition to human milk than cows milk is and it is easier to digest. I don’t have an opinion either way on this but thought some parents may find it interesting/useful. Here is a link for more information.
Alexandra
Isn’t it funny how the rules we live by in our society make it absurd think of drinking human breast milk yet completely normal to consume that of a cow!
I love the comment “And most often you don’t even personally know the cow”.
I appreciate there are times that human milk is not available and then parents can go thru the ‘what’s the best next thing process’. For my first baby that lead me to goats milk, tho if I knew then what I know now I would certainly search for donor milk.
Woohoo my first comment! Thanks Patrick, it’s great to hear what other people have chosen to do. Glad you shared!
Hi Alex, my baby was wet nursed/ cross nursed by 5 of my friends for a day when I had to attend a course. They all got together at one house and shared his care and feeding on cue. I trusted that they were in good health as they were all feeding their own happy & healthy children. HM4HB has a lot of good starting points to answer your questions in their FAQ section on their website http://www.hm4hb.net/FAQ.html and they can also be found in the tabs on the fb pages. I think the most important point is that both the donor and recipient are making an informed choice to share milk in an arangement they are both happy with. Thanks for your blog post and helping to normalise milk sharing!
Thanks Kelly, will check out the FAQ’s. Great idea about a day of wet nursing! I’ve never thought of that, I’ve always thought it was more for someone who wasn’t breastfeeding at all. But a temp wet nurse is awesome! How did he take to other women?
[...] Milk sharing – Tick. Read this post on milk sharing. I’m sure there will be plenty more to come [...]
Hi Alex. Love it that you’re tackling this. I remember watching the C4 documentary called “Extreme Breastfeeeding’ and being completely bewildered by other people’s negative responses to the idea of longer-term breastfeeding and milk-sharing. So irritating that we live in a world where it’s fine to gawp at tits in national newspaper but not so fine to use them for their primary function.
Many of the women in my family were wet nurses but i thought the practice had more or less died out.
My only question about milk-sharing would be whether milk from another woman would adapt nutritionally to your baby’s growing needs. I understand that the milk you produce for a 5 month old is not the same as the milk you produce for a newborn? To clarify!, if a wet nurse was providing milk for a newborn and a 5 month old, wouldn’t the newborn be getting milk that was too rich etc, or vice versa. Complicated!!
Good luck.
PS My blog is very different from yours but feel free to check it out anyway x
flossing the cat recently posted..LIFEGUARD
Thanks for your comment
I wondered the same thing! But from what I understand, when looking for a milk donor it is best to look for someone with a baby who is a similar age to your own because of the composition of the milk. And as far as wet nurses go… I guess the bottom line is when given the choice between formula or breastmilk, the mums that choose a wet nurse or milksharing would rather the milk be for a different age baby than to go with a less-natural formula. I hope that makes sense! Comes down to choosing whats best for you and your baby though, right?
Also, I LOVED reading your blog! The ‘school run’ post was VERY entertaining. Had trouble posting a comment though when I tried to do it through the ‘OpenID’ option. Thought you might like to know xx
Great post, and well done for tackling the subject. I was combination fed because Mummy didn’t produce enough milk. It didn’t occur to her to look into wet nursing. I think she felt I was getting the benefits because I was breastfeeding first at every feed, then ‘topping up’ with formula. For her, I don’t think the issue would be with me having someone else’s milk, rather that she wouldn’t want someone else having that bond. Like you, she loved our feeding sessions, even in the night!
(found you on Love New Blogs, BTW)
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Hi! Thanks for popping over
I totally understand the bonding thing – it’s a beautiful thing to feed you’re baby! Xxx
[...] on parenting choices that are commonly not considered the norm. Knowing that the post I wrote on Sharing Breast milk led to a baby receiving donated breast milk and a mothers expressed milk not going to [...]
[...] happening in the online world. Alexandra explored some of the issues a year ago in her blog post Ooo taboo! Who’s sharing milk?: There isn’t enough information out there for parents who are looking for breast milk for their [...]
[...] happening in the online world. Alexandra explored some of the issues a year ago in her blog post Ooo taboo! Who’s sharing milk?: There isn’t enough information out there for parents who are looking for breast milk for their [...]